25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely

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Did you know that in Korea, people are recording themselves while having dinner? And people are actually paying to watch these videos! Is this another sign of loneliness creeping up on all of us?

According to a study of more than 170,000 people published at the Psychology Bulletin in 2013, the average adult’s network of friends and colleagues have shrunk over the past 3 decades. It’s no wonder many people feel lonelier than ever.

Feeling lonely, however, is not a direct cause of being alone. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowd.

Loneliness, in fact, is more dangerous than isolation because it increases a person’s mortality rate, according to John Cacioppo, co-author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Needs for Social Connection.

If it’s so dangerous, how do we fight loneliness then?

Wondering What to Do When You Feel Lonely? Here Are 25 Tried and Tested Tips

1. Just Show Up

A blonde woman going out to avoid feeling lonely
Get out there talk to others

Familiarity breeds attraction. A study published at the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that same-sex strangers felt increasing affinity towards each other, after each conversation they had. The same goes for online chat conversations. Don’t be hesitant to talk to people, even if you feel awkward or don’t like them at first. If you’re genuinely interested or curious about others, they’re more likely to reciprocate those feelings.

2. Go On A Solo Date

A latte and a piece of cake on a table
A solo date can be whatever you make it.

You know the problem with group and couples dates? The annoying “So what do we do?” and “Where do we eat?” questions. When you go on a date with yourself, you’re sure to go somewhere you actually like and you don’t have to wait around for others to decide.

3. Know The Difference Between Loneliness and Isolation

A man staring at the rising sun alone in a bay

Loneliness is an emotion, mostly triggered by a sad memory. Unfortunately the brain loves to overanalyze things, so even momentary loneliness can escalate to longer spells because of thoughts like “Why do I feel so alone?” and “Am I a loser no one loves?” When this happens, just acknowledge the feeling and don’t overreact.

4. Attend Meetups

Go to meetup.com and find a group in your city. There are tons of meetup groups catering to every interest, job, city and hobby, so it’s impossible not to find a group to your liking. People who join meetup.com are eager to meet new people, and are incredibly friendly so it’s a nice way to make new friends.

5. Watch A Movie

The outside of a neighborhood cinema in London.

Watch a movie alone or call some friends to go with you—it doesn’t matter. What’s important is you immerse yourself in an interesting story that’ll erase your gloomy thoughts. Watch a chick-flick, or a super hero movie—anything but a tear jerker, really —and grab lots of candy and popcorn.

6. Volunteer

A man and girl planting flowers in a garden

Focusing on the needs of others steers your mind away from sad thoughts. It’s impossible to feel lonely when you’re feeding the homeless, reading to kids at an orphanage, or dancing with grandmas at a salsa class. Helping the less fortunate will also fill you with immense gratitude.

7. Adopt A Cute Pet

A smiling English Spaniel that was adopted by KIM

A furry cat or dog will cheer you up. The playfulness of pets, plus the troubles (and fun) you’ll experience while training them will make you forget about your troubles. Even a goldfish or pretty parrot can do wonders for your mood. Learn more about the amazing benefits of pets when you make a new pet friend.

8. Identify The Cause Of Your Loneliness

A hand resting against a rainy window
“What to do when you feel lonely?”

I can’t imagine how many people have Googled that phrase when they felt the pangs of loneliness. Unfortunately, it’s not the best question to ask. Would you ask a doctor for a prescription before they check your symptoms?

Instead of trying things randomly, hoping one solution will do the trick—losing hope and feeling worse when it doesn’t—it’s better to identify the cause of your loneliness first. If you were previously happy in your own company, what could’ve caused you to feel lonely this time?

Do your friends make you feel lonely? Is it your work or surroundings, perhaps? The cause of your loneliness will clue you in on the appropriate solution.

9. Read Fiction

A woman reading a fiction book while alone

Please don’t pick a Dummies book on how to stop feeling lonely. Reading self-help when you’re feeling miserable will make just you feel worse. Read a good novel instead. Losing yourself in a good story or identifying with a powerful character will boost your confidence and fill you with a sense of adventure.

10. Take A Bath

Where do good ideas come from? In the shower, right? Taking a nice, long, and relaxing bath is a great way to be bask in your alone time, instead of drowning in self-pity. Ladies, prepare a glass of red, chocolates and magazines. Gents, take a bubble bath ala Chandler by taking a manly boat with you!

11. Take A Random Bus, Train, or Flight Somewhere

Taking public transportation to a random location forces you to do two things—be in the company of strangers, and change your environment. Doing this will ward off loneliness and cure your wanderlust as well.

12. Dance (Naked)

Sometimes, we feel lonely because we’re actually alone. So take this chance to do the things you can only do when you’re alone, like dancing naked or jumping on the bed with your shoes on. Doing crazy stuff alone will give you a good laugh.

13. Go For A Quick Run

A man running alone next to a lake

Running is scientifically proven to make you happier. Even 30 minutes of walking can instantly lift your mood, according to a 2006 study published at Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

14. Watch a Funny Show

There was a reason shows like Friends and Seinfeld were popular. They make people laugh! Sometimes they even make people laugh when they don’t want to, or when a situation they’ve been in appears in the script. Check out the Friends episodes “The One with the Unagi,” and “The One With the Embryos” if you’re feeling lonely and need a good laugh.

15. Get Coffee

Go to a coffee shop far from your apartment or office. Then order coffee and sit on the bar, or that big table on the center where you can talk to people. Compliment someone on their tie, shoes or bag. Start a conversation. Don’t worry if you’re bad at small talk, because chances are you won’t see that person again.

16. Practice #JOMO

Social media is helpful, but it can be detrimental depending on how you use it. Consider giving it up for a while. When your default behavior is to keep scrolling instead of talking to whoever’s with you, or taking a picture of everything you eat instead of eating it, then it’s time to experience the joy of missing out (JOMO) – a practice promoted by Randi Zuckerberg. Yes, she’s Mark Zuckerberg’s sister.

17. Make Your Bed

Making your bed in the morning, and doing a quick two-minute wipe down in your kitchen at night, will make you feel better and in control of your life. Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, says her research for the book revealed that bed-making is one of the keystone habits of happy people.

18. Look Through Old photos

Prepare some snacks or some tea and canapés ala afternoon high-tea, if you’re feeling fancy. Reminisce the good old days with a friend, your mom or sis. Remembering your crazy antics, and most embarrassing moments caught on camera will fill you with nostalgic memories and drive away loneliness.

19. Get A Camera

Get a camera, then go out and start taking beautiful photos of things around you. A sunset, a barking dog, or a laughing baby—filling your life with beautiful things can take your mind off of loneliness.

20. Attend Classes For A Fun New Exercise Like Air Yoga, Pole Dancing, Or Trampoline Jumping

The exact exercise doesn’t matter. The point is to get yourself moving, while trying something new in the supportive environment of a group class.

21. Start A 5-Minute Gratitude Journal

It’s hard to feel down when you know that you have a lot to be thankful for. When you don’t know what to be thankful for, just write what you feel. Sometimes, it can help you identify why you feel lonely in the first place.

22. Watch Inspiring Ted Talks

Ted Talks are inspiring and informative. I don’t know why, but watching a few Ted Talks really help when I feel lonely and helpless. Some of my favorites are: Connected but alone?by Sherry Turkle, and Success, failure and the drive to keep creating” by Elizabeth Glibert.

23. Plan A holiday

Nothing beats loneliness and overwhelm like planning a great holiday vacation. Looking up flights, hotel deals and stuff to do on a random faraway location will boost your spirits and steer your mind off your negative thoughts. You don’t really need to book a trip, sometimes the act of planning for one is enough.

24. Create Something New

Wondering how to not feel lonely, when you actually prefer to be alone? Getting bored is a prerequisite of feeling lonely. And what’s one of the main causes of getting bored? Having nothing to do. So keep yourself occupied! Try a new recipe. Create a scrapbook. Finish that DIY project you’ve been postponing for so long.

25. Do Something Craaazy

2 guys on a boat so they won't feel lonely

Dress up like a tourist, and do all the cheesy touristy things in your city. Eat the local delicacy, tour the crowded tourist spots and explore new locations you’ve never heard of.

Putting Yourself Out There

We know it may be tough, but we hope these 25 tips give you some things to try next time you feel lonely. Even if you only try one or two, that will help you build up to doing more the next time!

If you liked our list and it helped, or if you have a tip that works when you feel lonely, share it with us below!

Photo of author

Quincy Seale

Quincy is KIM's editor, and has collected and shared inspiring quotes and stories since 2005. Quincy holds an MBA from the University of Dundee and an MSc from the University of Edinburgh, and lives in San Antonio with his wife Natalie, son Alex, and his dog Oban.

112 thoughts on “25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely”

  1. I am feeling lonely i have bf also but whenever i told him about it we always fight and in the end it end on breakup but we never did it i want to end my lonliness but i dont know what to do i have no family nor friends i dont understand what will i do to live a happy and healthy life

  2. So in my case I am an introvert, I also love live alone, but in this pandemic,I am feeling very alone. I had friends but because of my less talkative nature, they all gone far in their life. Sometimes I feels I will end my life. I just fed up of all things….I try many things…but I am losing interest in every thing…..I am becoming helpless.

  3. Try to rearrange clothes to wear for the next day / week, iron them, match them, collect extra stuff to give away for charity

    Make a list of what is priority to buy when I get the next pay check.

    Think about why people in my life act the way they do. I love behaviour science.

    Sitting alone helps deal with those kind of things, then u don’t feel lonely u just drift off to zzzzz….sleep…

  4. I feel lonely at times too, I have my mom but it’s not like she’s interested in things I do. I do everything by myself and it gets overwhelming because I would like people to be interested in things I like or you know to have people that’s consistent! All my friends are in relationships & dating in this world is hard especially for me! The gym is my happy place and I just try to keep myself busy, that’s why I enjoy school so much and learning, or cooking recipes! It keeps me at peace and from thinking about how lonely I really am in this world.

  5. …and call over a few friends to join the fun of tasting/eating it together….take pics of the event and build fun memories that can last and tide over OR pre-empt even, many days of loneliness 🙂

  6. I am unemployed, so I have too much alone time. I talk on the phone though. I will use these ideas. It should help.

  7. I don’t necessarily know how many of these ideas I will remember the next time I do feel lonely, but reading it alone felt nice. Thanks.

  8. I feel lonely so on Google I looked up, ” things to do when you feel sad and lonely”, and I found it! This is the website I wanted!

  9. call up someone from your childhood. recall good memories. or, if you are too scared, email them and add your number, send them a text. if they want to build a connection, they will call/text/email you back!! don’t be upset if they don’t pick up the first time. Facebook, Instagram, find them. recall memories. drop the loneliness.

  10. I did some of these ideas, but your complete list is even better. Thanks for sharing. It is most relevant right now (except for the travelling and going outdoors ones).

  11. I do get lonely and helpless in winter, especially around Christmas!! When I feel lonely and helpless, I keep myself busy at work and ask people around me how to deal with loneliness and helpless. Everyone will give different opinions and support. Sometimes it helps to hear people around say different things and hear different stories they experienced. Cuddle my dogs and watch movie at home is another way to relax me from overthinking and feel helpless. I have to keep telling myself, life is moving on, so it will get better at some points. I like to read wisdom word to relax me from depression and loneliness.

  12. Thank you for this article.

    I have a full time, very intense job in emergency psychiatry where I’m around people all the time and the job depends on my ability to interact.
    I have a partner I love, a dog I adore, some siblings, a mum, and a very few friend, and lots of acquaintances, I have lots of hobbies and a pretty busy life.
    With all of that – there are days like today where I am crippled by loneliness and feel as though I’ll never get through it… it’s such a strange feeling to be surrounded by people but feel acutely lonely.

    These points were great – and the thoughtful comments helpful too.
    I’m making a commitment to try out some Meetup groups and see how I go, as well as prioritising my own self care instead of always putting others first. It’s a work in progress x

  13. helpful hints, I have a wonderful dog and cat and i do try and stay
    busy. I feel a bit lonely from time to time..but we are in the same boat !

  14. I was told to stay off social media. When you look at what everyone else is doing, it can make you feel worse. Try to participate in the world it will make you feel better.

  15. Thank you..This is so helpful! Friends is the best therapy..was just feeling too emotional n sad for no reason. But now I know I can manage 🙂

  16. I live in a state where I don’t fit in and I have no friends. I have tried to make friends, but we had nothing in common and I gave up. It’s a rural area, and I am from a big city 10 hours away. I want to sell my house and go home, but am too sick to do it myself. I have begged family to help me but they can’t. They don’t realize that I have been in bed 2 years, and am desperate to go home. So desperate that I’ve thought of just walking away from my house, and living on the streets back home. I am so unhappy and am getting worried that if I don’t get back home soon, I’m not going to survive. It is that bad. I am jumping up and down and waving my hands in the air hoping someone will help me, but they don’t see me or don’t want to see me. I am in my 50’s, divorced, no kids and have 4 little dogs. Everyday gets worse. I just want to go home where I belong.

    • Julia,

      I am in exactly the same situation. I don’t own a home, but a job and my pet are the only things keeping me in a state that I do not want to be in.
      I’m in Texas, all alone. No family and maybe couple of acquaintances with whom I’m the one always initiating conversations.
      I want to move but am afraid to do so without a job lined up 1st. Can’t find a job. 🙁

      • We all sound so much the same in our feelings of loneliness. I would love to find real friends. I was alone in Texas, now alone in KY and wondering what is wrong with me.

  17. I just try and talk to friends but I don’t know if I am depressed or just lonely. And usually my bff can’t or doesn’t want to talk

  18. Thank you for writing this article. I think that it speaks volumes that people are still commenting on it 4 years after you wrote it.

    Also, a heartfelt thanks to all those who commented here. I hope that each of you have found contentment and peace. I have read all of the comments and I want to say… I feel each of you, deeply. Which means, we aren’t actually alone at all. Because so many of us are quietly suffering through a sense of isolation and loneliness. One trick I have been working on is keeping the energy up, so the loneliness doesn’t turn in to depression/despair. But I am also in deep grief, so it’s difficult. I don’t feel comfortable burdening my friends with all the pain surrounding my mourning, and now that it has been just over a month since I lost her, my friends/family seem less interested in holding that space for me anyway.

    So I have set up a type of alter to commemorate her: her ashes are there, photos, pretty stones, etc. I talk to her when I come home, I talk to her when I wake up… it helps to still feel connected to her in some way. In ANY way. But then the pain that she’s really gone comes crashing down around me, and the full weight of the realization that I am truly alone hits me so hard that I can’t bear being in our home without her. So I go out on walks, bike rides, to cafe’s, restaurants, parks, any where new or if the thought of it makes me smile.

    I am trying to do many of the things outlined in this excellent post, but it’s hard to get up my energy to do much of anything. I am usually a very neat/clean person but our house is now dusty, with a bed I seldom make anymore. But I’ve picked up learning the ukulele, I get out around people as much as possible, and try to be mindful to not take my thoughts/feelings too seriously (especially when it’s feeling sad and despondent that everyone else seems to have a large family/partner/friend group).

    Life must go on… I have to say that getting out, helping friends in need, reading, etc helps a little. One day at a time. One smile, one tear, one dream, one friend, one hug…

  19. I get on line and start reading “Please pray for me” I spend time praying for those fighting illness, mental illness and those who ask for prayers for family facing painful operations, and tough times. I have made friends from my fifty year old daughters friends, and their mothers on line and in person. I have invited my daughters friends to visit and stay on a vacation in my Florida home. Reaching out was hard for me at first but it comes naturally to me to take care of others to feed them and listen to their woes. We all need to listen to others in trouble I find it takes my mind off of my problems.

  20. thank you so much.
    These ideas are funny and I got some energy..
    I noticed I’m not only people who feel lonely.
    and please add this idea”watch this website.” lol

  21. I really love what you write. All good suggestions and respond to the arguments that hold me back from actually get started. Many of your advice I already do, but after a while I get so “feed up” by all short meetings and chit chats. I wish someone would call me and suggest an activity or at any time be on someones priority list Calling friends for a chat is gone since long as I get so sad when they always (at least it feels like that) have to hang up because someone (else) needs attention. Anyone have a suggestion?

  22. Well, let just say am the last born and people just think your decision doesn’t count plus don’t really have close friends and no one tends to talk to me really much won’t say it because I hardly talk to people and kinda a little bit shy to talk to most people.

  23. I live alone and have no family. I like to drive out into natire with my dog and we go to the woods, to Wales or to local parks. I watch a good film and have a great collection of dvds. I also have some pen pals abroad. I like my own company and space. I do not have to cook or clean for anyone although it would be nice to have a partner to do things with. I watch iplayer or some Prime movies in bed sometimes and love gardening. I occasionally meet up with friends. Having a dog whom i really love really helps as he is family and we are a team. I love having time for me and peace and quiet. It is a great luxury in a hectic stressful world.

      • I am living alone but I don’t have any pets to comfort me. My family is grown and have their own lives. I am disabled so it is hard to just get up and go someplace at times. I do have 2 sisters I talk to almost daily but that’s not enough. It’s hard to listen to where they go with their families and how often their families visit. Just feeling lonely tonight and wanted to reach out. It’s hard to make new friends with Covid19. Most of my friends (including my husband) are older and I only have one good friend of over 40 years left. Unfortunately, she has had some mental changes recently and I am not as patient with her as I should be. I hope this finds everyone safe and healthy!

        • May I help?
          I find myself in a similar situation.
          After 3 marriages failing due to my sociopathic husbands, I needed to be isolated from people just to get my life on track. Now that it is on track, I find myself so alone…my family is far away. I work full time.

          Please contact me. We can keep each other company through email. Send a response. I am happy to be a pen pal.

  24. I lost my wife Oct last year My age is 63 and would like someone to talk to become a friend of similar age Feeling lonely and depressed

    • Hi Brian
      I know what it’s like to feel lonely. I do have friends but they are married.

      Where do you live? i’m in sheffield. Let me know if you live anywhere near by.

      Kind wishes Heather

  25. None of these suggestions covers my lonliness, even though they are good suggestions. Unfortunately, they don’t work for everyone. My lonliness is FORCED SOLITUTDE because all of my family have died. I have no family and no friends.

    • You may like a pen friend. Hence my reply. I have no family. Was a single child to an alone parent. My dad died. And so I’m all alone. I make friends easily but I don’t have anyone who I can spend time with as my friends are all busy working or seeing and keeping up with their families.

  26. I’m introverted and hate being around people but the moment I’m alone, the loneliness just always comes back. I always try and distract myself but it doesn’t work for long.

  27. I feel more lonely when I’m with my husband and dad then I do when I’m actually alone . I don’t have friends because every time they just use me and when I stop giving they leave . I’m not lonely when I’m alone just lonely around others if that makes any sense

  28. I have felt lonely for years, never been married or blessed with children. Been in a relationship for 5 years now that I should get out off but only stay because if I leave then I truly will have no-one. My colleagues would never guess the upset inside me, but I feel secretly jealous when they describe all the things they do with their families at weekends etc. I have been away by myself but found the evenings abit difficult when you see couples and friends enjoying dinner etc. I was never any good at making and keeping friends. It’s a good article and lovely to read the comments and hear there are plenty of people feeling the same! I want things to change things because sometimes I feel I’m wasting my life feeling lonely and bored.

    • Samantha,

      We are living each other’s lives. I am feeling especially lonely tonight. I tried online dating and it is pretty bad. I met someone I have a lot of chemistry with; an opinion he shares. And last night he told me that he is not emotionally available and can not offer me anything other than casual meet up. I’ve spent majority of my day refusing to process my feelings about it because that would mean I would have to stop seeing him. This is a new and the lowest of lows I’ve ever come to. I’ve also cried today. Can we all help each other? Can we be there for each other?
      I would love to provide my email for anyone who would like to figure out how we can actually help each other instead of expressing it once on a platform that people come across accidently.

  29. I’m very lonely, I haven’t had a girlfriend or female company in over 6 years. I have a good job, and I’m travelling Corsica for a month on my motorcycle. Even that was a bad idea, I don’t really speak French and I’m just sat in my AirBnB with nothing to do but edit photos.

    In the UK I go to a coffee shop in the city of Durham, but I really struggle to speak to anyone. I have a nervous stammer which has made me very hesitant to speak to anyone I don’t know. Even if it’s just to say excuse me.

    My dad and dog have both died in the last couple of years and I only have a mother and sister left. I have absolutely no friends or other family. I was in the military for 9 years and when I left, I had to leave my friends behind

    Honestly, if I had a head on with a truck tomorrow, I’d just be a blip in people’s memories, if that. I’m a good person, who has achieved a lot and have medals, degree etc. I’m fed up of not having people to interact with.

    • Hi Mate, I have just read your post, I really related to it so thought I’d drop you a message, I have only just found this site, hope things have improved for you by now, Regards Rich

    • John,

      I am so sorry that you felt this way when you wrote it. I hope you didn’t struggle with that mental anguish for too long.
      I hope you are doing much better today.

  30. I live alone and have never married.Both parents and a brother are dead. So..I have a beautiful dog whom I adore so I play with him, cook him nice meals and we go for the most awesome walks..We even go to Wales together..Gardening is another great thing and I can spend hours outside..I sometimes go to Poundland and get a new dvd..or watch German TV as I am half German and have satellite TV..I have pen pals I write to and I swear by a nice hot bath…I like my own company and am a teacher so I love my peace and quiet after a day at work. I would rather be alone than stuck in a loveless relationship and with a partner with whom I have nothing to say to.

  31. I was depressed after my break up with my girlfriend. but when i follow above tips i really find changes in my life

  32. Wish I had friends or family or anything, don’t have any relationships. I’m almost 28 and have wanted to die for the past decade. I’m just tired, I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to deal with the feelings. It’s the worst. Don’t know how to help myself and the professionals haven’t helped me in 13 years of counseling.

  33. I highly suggest not doing the movie thing. I did it and every time I think about it, I feel sad about how pitiful that looked. I went alone to a theatre to sit by other people who came with other people. So while everyone whispers, and laughs with each other, I just sat there quietly staring at the screen. I don’t even remember the movie that I watched . I played good money to create a bad memory that makes me awful.

  34. Thank you so much for this post which has helped me a lot. I have Bipolar Disorder and am a single dad to my son since he was 3 years old. He’s now 18 and will shortly be leaving home to attend university. I am so proud of him that even though he lives with ADHD he has achieved so much.

    Now that I’m not needed as a dad so much, apart from cooking and cleaning etc. LOL I sometimes find myself feeling lonely and to be honest I am dreading the time in a few months when he goes to university. I know already that I will suffer loneliness and I am trying to put things in place to negate these feelings like voluntary work.

    Your brilliantly written article shows me that I’m not alone in feeling this way and that I hold the key to control loneliness.

    Thank you and best wishes from England, UK.

    • Thank you for the post. I am divorced and have one child. Thought i work at the airport but can not help feelng lonely a lot of time.

  35. i feel to much lonely if anyone want to be friends please talk i dont have much friends my some friends treat me bad for being short so pls be friend and if u live in same country than i can meet you

  36. Even I am single and staying alone since more than 6 years. I am 30+ and have no company either. It’s very painful to feel lonely and not able to help yourself. But I never give up. I try to fight everyday in my life either it’s on a personal or professional front. It’s very hard to come out of feeling of being alone. I found this article just to help myself come out of my loneliness and this article has lots to help. Keep it up and wishing you loads of luck and happiness. God bless??????

  37. I actually found several points on here really helpful, and not at all dismissive or demeaning. Thank you so much for writing this article!

  38. when i feeling lonely. i was talking a lot without reason my friends, i think i’m a depressed fellow . when i feeling so lonely i’m talking my self and feeling very happy. this is the best way to reduce the loneliness for my opinion. and above subjects are helpful to reduce the depress thank u for the tips i’m very thankful to you

  39. I lost my husband to cancer 6 years ago, when he was 49 and I was 47. We had one child who went away to college and then moved out of town for his career. I never was good at making and keeping friends. He was my best friend. Since then I’ve tried to go out (felt alone in crowds) and I do have a pet. I try to keep busy by doing things at home, but then the loneliness returns because who do I have to show my accomplishments to? Would love to meet someone, but I’m ahead of the curve for being a widow, when most people my age are in relationships. Tough thing, loneliness…
    have done the solo date, not adventurous enough to travel on my own, feel like a loser when I’m around people who state that they have a family and things to do. I have a pet, whom I love, but it’s a burden at times because the help isn’t/can’t be there. Tough days, being lonely.

    • The loneliness is so severe that words cannot describe it. I am also feeling an overwhelming depression-so severe that I can not describe it in words. If I don’t get help soon it is going to drive me completely insane.

    • Hi how’s it going lori I lost my Fiance kim to ms in 2015 she was the best thing that ever happened to me but it was Gods way a couple of months later I found out an old friend that used to babysit for me and my ex wife. she lost her husband and I made the mistake of hooking up with her and tried making it work for 4 long years and I finally ended it because she had a major problem with drinking and wouldn’t stop! Anyway Lonelyness got the best of me. I try to keep busy doing things for my mom and stepdad. Need more just lost! If you ever need a friend to talk to feel free to hit me up

  40. Thank you to everyone that has commented. I don’t feel so alone at this point in time. I am an outgoing person, constantly on the move, travelling alot for work, always on the go but I feel lonely all the time. I always make an effort for people and go out of my way for them and yet I feel this is not always reciprocated not that I look for it. I felt lonely in so many strange places in a room full of people, dancing on the dance floor with close mates underneath bridges sitting in the park anywhere and everywhere. I have been single for 10 years and I enjoy singledom I enjoy my life but this loneliness feeling has always been around

  41. I almost feel refreshing to see the post you sent. I have done almost all the saying, but still I need a family, chit chat with someone who are truly attached with me. Even widow or overage. But I want to submit myself. As a member.

  42. Adopting a pet is a huge responsibility, you should mention that.
    While it sounds great and all, you do have to feed them, walk them, etc.
    Good intentions are great but if a person is lonely and possibly depressed what if they reach a point they don’t care to care for the pet anymore?
    …..The pet suffers for it.

    • I totally agree with you Andrew Bird…its a pity I’ve only just come across this site and read your amazingly insightful comments. The thing is that ‘Clarity is Power’ and taking control of even ONE area of our life…can lead us to feeling that we have the ability to be IN control of other more elusive and difficult areas. Thank you so much for your intuitive, intelligent response to this article. If you ever want to ‘get in touch’ with a like-minded kindred spirit…feel free to email me. Meanwhile, spread the love and keep the faith. Rozanne

  43. I’m always constantly lonely. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about anything. I find myself wanting to talk to myself just to try and get things off my chest. I recently met a girl and I think I scared her off always wanting to be with her as I loved not being alone and enjoyed her company. Not many people seem to want to mix with me and I really don’t know why. I’m never nasty to people and I’m always loyal and caring. I dress smartly and shower and take care of myself. People have mentioned I’ve done well for myself so I’m not a scrounger. I don’t know. I try and make myself a more interesting person and more approachable. I do find a lot of people I meet very boring I must say. Maybe I show that I’m bored? I always ask people questions and listen and talk when I think I need too. Maybe I’m boring. Whatever it is it’s made me one lonely man an I wish I could sort it. Writing this is the most fun I’ve had all day.

    • This is essentially the same way I feel.
      I’ve been given plenty of social opportunities, and if rating myself I think I do a fair job at being sociable, listening, being interesting enough and even funny getting people to laugh.
      But when it comes down to it, these social events are brief and fleeting, just last night a person I thought would be a new friend as I attended their birthday party through a mutual friends invite, didn’t invite me to their birthday party.
      There were also more mutual friends there that I’ve known for a while, none of them invited me either.
      I don’t know what about me is so off putting.
      Wish someone would just be forward and tell me so I could actually work on it you know?

    • I feel the same married for years to 2grow up children not working as unwell life feel so lonely I’m Busy most of the time but it’s just coming home to an empty house and no one misses me or even realises I’ve not come home no one to tell how your day have been and so on but wot can you do life gos on ?

  44. I’ve got a broken back that limits my activity that is usually done in a chair. I go to PT, have visitors, and write poetry but am left with a lot of empty hours I usually spend watching old movies and sending emails. I have a loving husband but I feel useless.

  45. Do gardening. Or whatever you like, make it a hobby. Knitting, painting etc…
    You will find loneliness helping you to show your new talent. 🙂

    • thank you I was thinking of learning to knit a long time ago I made a scarf just with a basic pattern knit one pearl one winter is almost upon us and it might be good to stock up on wool

  46. I just want to say, when i typed on google “i’m lonely” i seriously didn’t expect to find anything helpful.
    Thank you, really.

  47. I relate to the comment about make the bed.. I feel heaps better when i make my bed. After I read this… I got out of bed and made my bed.

  48. Thanks for nice avenues to let go off our loneliness.

    Personally, I am a spiritual practitioner. I found reading scriptures and praying to God is also a way to overcome loneliness. Spiritual practices gives us the strength to connect to others in a more selfless way. Help them in whatever way we can. That satisfies our heart too because all we need is to love and be loved.

  49. I’m lonely all the time–have been for at least 20 years. I never was good at making friends. Now I go days or weeks without seeing anyone except the customers at the grocery store. I want friends so bad, in fact I secretly wish to be popular. I hear not having many connections increases my risk of death. I don’t want to die.

  50. such a lovely post 🙂 I am one of those people who prefer being alone but then feel lonely anyways and realized I was actually doing most the things listed here unconsciously. Sometimes you get so stuck in a feeling though that little reminders like this are a great help. Thank you!

  51. Good points, one missing is: do what you always enjoyed doing the best, be it skiing, sailing, yoga or simply waliking on the beach. For this is where you will find like minded people. Like does attract ,
    especially when you are in your collective ‘like’ space and comfortable with yourself.

  52. I feel lonely because I don’t have a girlfriend or many friends, my place is like a business district, and going on a solo date makes my loneliness even worse I guess. I want a pet cat so bad 🙁 but my parents don’t allow me. but thanks I’ll try the other method 😀

  53. I love this, been feeling very lonely and teary alot, especially today. When I stumbled across this it made me smile. You’re very right about keeping on top of the housework, it’s almost like you’re cleaning your mind. Same with reading, you get so engrossed you sink into that world. Thank you for your great post, it came at the right time

  54. Hi, loved your post. when loneliness creeps in, i usually listen to energetic music, dance my way out of loneliness, so effective. thanks for sharing your ideas, it will definitely help me a lot. Great read.

  55. I really think this will help me. I feel lonely all the time, probably because instead of being with my friends, I’m on the computer watching Markiplier, or on Quotev updating my stories.My friends and I are growing out of the same interests so we don’t really see each other anyways, so I feel lonely and sad all day every day. Even when I’m in school smiling and talking to my classmates who think I’m one of the happiest people they know when really I can be one of the most depressed people they could ever know.
    I’m a very creative person, so I really think #24 will help me. I have also always wanted to see a movie just on my own, so maybe I could try #5. I already have a cut pet, take lots of baths, and own a journal. But maybe I should start taking walks more and maybe even visit some places by myself, hopefully my parents will let me. Because I think these techniques could really work if I just give them a chance.

  56. Hello, because of work I’ve been traveling a lot, which is what i absolutely love the most in this life (after my family of course) but because it, i’m always new everywhere i go and my co-workers are not very much into the things i like; I’m a young Architect -woman- working in construction and pretty much all my co-workers are older men who biggest interest is mostly drinking, which i’m fine with but that gets boring for me after a while and as empowering as it feels to be the only woman and making my own way, I have started to feel alone, not lonely precisely… just acknowledging that i’m alone, i have been doing things on my own for some time (mostly everything you have enlisted above) but i have been missing the human interaction (having friends) and i started feeling bad and kind of a loser for not having friends even though i am conscience being alone is not a bad thing… with all this said basically i just want to thank you for writing this article, it made me feel better and less alone by realizing i’m not the only one who has felt this way 🙂

    • Hi,, I can relate to what you are saying, I was widowed just over a year ago. weekends are lonely for me.Im comfortable in my own skin and I have a good fulltime job..but i have started to feel alone too.I`m glad I`m not the only one like that.

      • My loneliness is escalating. I have been a widow for 17 months and people want me to be over him. Of course none of them are widows. I am 65 still working full time have 2 dogs who I adore and a very old cat. If I had someone jst to text with who doesn’t indulge in a conversation and then the texts stop. Their spouse came home, their mom called etc. that’s fine but at least text that information. I’ve tried everything I know. I can’t find a grief group that continues; people drop out then it just stops. Good luck to everyone else n this site. I pray you fine whatever will work for you.

  57. There were a few good ones. I am a chronically lonely person, and I usually do the cafe thing in the morning, or afternoon just to be around people. I am considered a handsome gent with a lot to offer, but for some reason, I am usually feeling lonely. The cafe is a good one. I am writing this from a cafe, and yep, I am lonely-maybe this is why I am writing this long ridiculous note.

    I tend to sleep with women more often than I should- not to feel good about my sex life, but because I have a warm body next to me, so I hold that random person-then when they leave, I am back to being lonely.

    If you are into traveling, the next time you go somewhere, stay in a hostel-its hard not to converse with people in those. I have met a lot of people from all over the world in Hostels and continue to remain friends with a lot of them. I just had a friend visit me from Ireland whom I met in a hostel in Galway last year.

    Sending you lonely peeps a huge hug!

  58. For loneliness trying new things helps. What really helps is taking a walk, going to church to mingle with people, striking up a conversation with a stranger on the buss, writing letters to people.

    • Hi Gwendolyn, As a 30 year old, who is lonely myself, I think I’m also the son that lives far away and doesn’t come around much to my parents. I know this post is old, but thank you for sharing your feelings.. You’ve inspired me to call them tomorrow morning and have a good, quality chat. I wish you all the best and hopefully a little more connection and warmth in both of our lives.

  59. The helping others in need is very helpful. Now most of the time my loneliness comes from a lack of not being in a romantic relationship. But that’s not all in life… I will look to the needs of others and get my mind off of me. Praying and reading the bible helps…

    • I completely understand where youre coming from. I was adopted at birth but niether family clames me even rho im a pretty good kid. Holidays are so hard and everyone says they understand when they dont and that theyre you fam when their not in the long run

      • Me too. Im not adopted but my parent’s always fight and im from a country where boys get more priority then girls so everyone care for my brothers not me. I’m better in studies but they will not let me complete my studies.

  60. I am so proud of myself ! After reading your list of things to do when you feel lonely, I realized that I’ve done them all – thinking that they were my own idea for combating loneliness. The only thing I don’t recall being mentioned is calling an old friend that you haven’t heard from for a while. Expressing how you feel to someone also get’s it off your chest. (may scare them away though!). I’ve been married twice and also in a ten year relationship that produced a beautiful, intelligent daughter but did not lead to marriage. I keep telling myself how thankful that I should be for all the blessings, but sometimes that darkness takes over. That’s life I guess. Perhaps some people just keep to themselves – not me – I tell everyone! Not that I want sympathy – just appreciate when others open up with their feelings. Then I don’t feel so alone. I guess I need caring people around me. I remember feeling this way, even as a child.

    • People who are not alone and who have kids, and family, will never understand the pain of being alone someone said it shorten your life this is true you have a feeling and your head and in your heart to be wanted if it is not adding up to what you feel you should be treated you will get down on yourself.

  61. This was wonderfully written and full of practical advice.

    I’ve often noticed that “creatives” (my area) feel lonely when, yes a bad memory or experience triggers our “defensive-brain” and it always goes in to overdrive, suggesting and repeating extreme messages on a loop like “no one likes me; i’m a failure at everything”. But loneliness and emptiness certainly sets in when people are not challenged in any way. Boredom produces phobias and fears and those are naturally avoided often in self destructive ways such as: excessive drinking, extreme changes to fit in to a social group, extreme reliance on other people or relationships, excessive eating or spending.

    There’s always a tiny unwarranted fear to overcome when embarking into anything new, but I advise making this fear your friend, a signpost that you’re excited and about to have a new experience and challenge : Learn (and commit time and money to!) something new or something you would never think of doing: an instrument you’ve never played, painting or drawing, pottery, reading about meteorology, attempting to understand quantum physics. Enjoy making mistakes, learning from them and hone the skill of staying curious and open. This kind of activity does more than give you a diverse and exciting social experience, it should also give you the incredibly satisfying feeling of being part of the human race, with much to give and more to learn and then loneliness should becomes nothing but a rare and fleeting thought and the world gains a little more life.

    • Thank you, I am feeling lonely because even when I go to an event with people I half-know, I feel lonely and self-pitying. But still, I need to give the world more life, by struggling to keep excitement and meaning in my life. I am fortunate, I think, to work in a place where I meet strangers and have a quick 30 second chat with them (It’s often me that starts up the convo), and then I go home to be alone and that’s ok. (Having been in a relationship for over 20 years with someone less than ideal….). But sometimes being alone can feel (to me) like having no roots, nothing to hold onto, and drifting without any point in being alive, because of not having anyone… except my parents and siblings…. I don’t know the solution, except to try to cope and do one’s best in life, in general.

      • The most difficult challenge is to find real and lasting solutions to loneliness.
        If one gets into a depressive slump, it becomes almost impossible to escape.
        Helping others helps me.

      • That resonated with me Paula I suspect I am probably a lot older than you I still have my time but they are getting very old. I used to have a lot of very close friend and now I feel I have one or two and then wherever. I feel out of contact. Theres so much more to say. I feel like the suggestion for a good ones but I feel that many of them and I feel isolated.

    • Andrew, I agree with you if only there was a way to help with world loneliness maybe there is an answer out there we all just have to keep searching

  62. I think about others; about their troubles and how I could help them. I clean house. I sit outside and listen to birds.
    I actually am alone a lot, but spend about 3 hours a week being totally over-peopled. As an introvert, that’s plenty and actual loneliness just doesn’t happen that often. I find being alone a gift.
    But if loneliness does hit me? Wow. I think I’m so not used to it that it hits me really hard, about once very five years or so. Then it’s tough, okay!

    • I’m an extreme extrovert and I work in an extrovert-friendly job (hospitality), but even I get over-peopled (or over-stimulated) sometimes and need my alone time. The problem is I don’t know how to ask for it before I get to the “talk to me and I’ll rearrange your teeth” point. Introverts are better at caring for themselves in that way and I’m trying to learn from them.


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